I apologise for the quality of some of these photos, a lot of them are quite old!
You may or may not know this about me, but I am incredibly short. It’s honestly one of the first things people notice – and then point out – about me. And that’s fine. Irritating at times, especially with people I don’t actually like, but generally it’s fine. I mean, I am short. Again, like agonisingly so.
How short, you ask? 4’9” (just under 145 cm). Most children are taller than me.
Being a short girl is a real ball-ache.
So, here are 30 of the struggles I go through when I travel. I mean, to be honest, most of these things happen in my day to day life, as well. But they’ve happened all over the world, so I’m counting them as common traveller struggles for short girls. And okay, okay, some of them are kind of repeats but it’s my post, I’ll do what I want.
The struggles are real! Raise your hand if you can relate!
And yes, due to innate sexism, no one searches for ‘short women struggles’ or even ‘short people struggles’ so yes, my keyword is ‘short girl struggles.’
As a side note: ‘midget pictures’ gets 1900 hits a month. I’ll let you digest that however you need to.
A quick note on the text
On re-reading, this article makes me sound like a mental. I’m actually pretty chill about my height, but it might not seem like it from this list. I let my good friends rib me all the time. If we’re tight, joke away. But you know how your black friends, or gay friends, don’t like to be known by that one characteristic? You know, because they’re complex, interesting individuals. Well, I too, am more than my height. Weirdly enough.
The point is, short people are capable of a lot. This short girl could totally rule the world… if it didn’t require getting out of bed before 10am.
Now, read about my struggles!
1. I can’t reach the overheads
Carryons are great and all, but they’re a lot less convenient when you can’t actually put it in the overhead (and your bag is too big to fit beneath the seat in front of you). I can typically get the bag into the overhead. Less so on the getting it out bit.
It’s not even that I like putting my bag in the overhead… it’s that I want the option. Yeah, okay, so I have Jeremy to help out these days. And previously, strangers would normally help me… But I hate relying on other people. Plus, cool cool, I get someone to get my bag in and out of the overhead, but what if I need it in the middle of the flight? It all becomes a massive palaver!
By the way, this is entirely in relation to planes… I can’t use the overheads on buses at all.
True story: I once volunteered to switch from a front row aisle seat to sit in a horrid middle seat in the middle of the plane. Why? So I wouldn’t have to put my bag in the overhead.
2. Wardrobes & Kitchens are designed by the devil
It’s no wonder I’m so good at living out a suitcase. How in the world do people reach the hangers on some of those suckers? I’m short, but I don’t think I’m that short. Yet, whenever we’re abroad/on holiday, they always seem to be inhumanly tall. I’ve never owned a wardrobe as tall as the ones I seem to end up with on holiday.
I’m also pretty sure that I subconsciously only date tall men because otherwise, getting into cupboards is loathsome. It’s easy enough at home to have a handy stool or sturdy chair, but on holiday, these things are no guarantee.
Plus, do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to have someone you’ve never met, walk into a shared kitchen to find you climbing around on the counters searching for plates?
3. STEEP STEPS ARE STEEPER
Fun tongue twister, eh?
The dilemma here is three fold. First, there are steps that are so tall, they take up half my leg. Can’t you feel my excitement?
Second, are the steps that are so small, you really need to take them two at a time. Except I’m so short, that I can’t. But I’m tall enough that they’re still irritatingly short. So I basically hobble along like a penguin until I get to the top.
Third, are the stairs that are just outrageously wide. I mean, no one’s stride is that wide. Jeremy has confirmed! Okay, maybe like a behemoth person. But I am definitely not that person. I’m just a short girl looking at some steps, begging them not to make her struggle up them.
4. People mistake me for a child & ask where my parents are
Yes, people think I am a child all the time. And it is annoying as fuck. Sure, there are some benefits (more on that later). But can anyone here honestly tell me it wouldn’t drive them up a wall if they were constantly being asked if they were lost and needed their parents?
Story time:
One night, I was perusing the liquor store, when a clerk approached me.
“Excuse me, are you looking for something for your parents?”
What an odd question, I thought, but replied, “No thanks, I’m by myself.”
Next thing I know, their manager is escorting me to the back of the store. As he walked me to his office, I started to panic, trying to remember if I’d accidentally chucked a packet of gum in my pocket or something.
I had not.
Back in his office, he looked at me very seriously and said, “It’s okay, we’ll call your parents. They shouldn’t have sent you out alone. They should know you can’t buy anything here without them.”
“Sorry, what?” I knew where this was going, but I couldn’t actually believe it was happening. Even though it still happens all the time.
“You’re just a kid. You have to be 21 to buy alcohol.”
“I am 21.” I pulled out my ID.
He examined it and handed it back, panicked, “Oh god, I’m so sorry. I’ll ask Tom to comp you 20% for the inconvenience.”
5. People mistake me for Jeremy’s child
On a similar vein, people think I’m Jeremy’s child (and this is awkward for Jeremy). It’s not just Jeremy; any guy I hang out with, people assume I am either their child or their younger sibling.
As a 22 year old, I went to the Seattle Aquarium with a male friend. He was visiting me, so I paid. As I held out my credit card, the cashier asked me if it was for one adult, one child. FYI: at the time (no idea if this is still the case), child tickets ended at 12. TWELVE!
But you know what, people reap what they sow.
“Yes,” I replied. “One adult, one child. My big brother is hanging out with me today.”
My friend grinned and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, mussed my hair and said, “She’s a good kid.”
The cashier beamed. I got a free ticket.
Sounds great, right? Sure, cheaper tickets are a definite bonus. But people ask Jeremy and I all the time if I’m his child. It makes date night pretty awkward if we say yes…
Maybe I should just start being more handsy in public?
Recently (in November), someone commented on an instagram photo of me at the Hill of Witches to say ‘Your daughter looks like she’s having a great time!’
(By the way, people who put public photos of their children on the internet without permission – you’re the worst, and the lawsuits are coming.)
So you see the problem.
6. School groups always think I’m with them
Say it with me, people: height doesn’t equal age.
What makes this one extra ridiculous is that in England students are quite often wearing uniforms. In Europe, young students (like primary school and elementary school aged) often wear high-high-vis vests to make them easier to find.
I am not wearing any of these things. I don’t own them even if I wanted to give it a go and fuck with people.
And yet, nearly every time I walk past a group of students somewhere (a museum, an open day on our old university campus, a restaurant, etc), some rando teacher comes over, puts their hands on me and tries to direct me back onto the bus.
By the way, this is traumatic, and one time I legitimately thought I was being kidnapped.
7. People don’t take me seriously & in a lot of cultures people assume I’m submissive
This might seem like borderline racist hogwash, but I assure you it’s not. And anything negative expressed in no way diminishes my love for these places.
When I first moved to Ghana, every white girl I knew complained about how often they got hit on. I would always say, “Yeah, it can be a bit annoying, but they’re just kidding.” A true feminist, I know.
One day, not long after I’d arrived, a few of these other white girls and I were hanging out at the market. When we arrived back home, I was bombarded:
“Is it always that bad for you?”
“How can you stand it?”
“Oh my god, I thought I had it bad!”
It turned out, what I thought was just a standard amount of harassment, was in fact a lot of harassment. This isn’t uncommon. I’ve experienced variations on a theme the world over. That’s not to say I’ve experienced it everywhere, but on more than one occasion, friends have said what I encounter is far worse than what they receive.
When I talked with a Ghanaian friend about it, he said simply, “Because you are small, people assume you do not have a voice. That you are small and weak and easy to control.”
Apparently they’ve never heard of the Napoleon Complex.
On the other front, people often tell me I wouldn’t understand because I’m “just a kid.” Or, another fun example, while working in a shop, I’ve been asked if my parents know it’s illegal to leave a child in charge of a store.
8. Wearing Heels Doesn’t Help
“Why don’t you just wear heels if you want to be taller?”
Well, because I don’t actually want to be taller. I like my height. I just wish it wasn’t such a tall man’s world. Or, really an average person, ’cause I hear exceptionally tall people have it pretty bad, as well.
Plus, wearing heels is so bad for your knees. One night in heels, and I’m out for the rest of the week.
But, perhaps most importantly, heels aren’t magical. On average, they’ll put me at 5’ (152.4 cm). This hardly solves the problem of being too short.
9. Getting hit in the head by bags & parents holding their kids
How I wish this was a joke. I can’t stand on public transport without someone swinging their purse directly into my face.
And guys, those things fucking hurt!
Often times, someone will feel there was an impact and turn to apologise. Unfortunately, in turning around, they often smack me in the head again. To top it all off, though, normally when they turn to apologise, they don’t see me!
Still, worse than purses and backpacks to the head on the regular, are toddlers. Toddlers are the worst. I’ve genuinely lost count of the number of times a toddler being held in my vicinity has used my head as a football (er, soccer ball).
If I can, I will of course move. However, this isn’t typically easy on a busy bus or subway.
I’ve also just asked people if they can please get their kid to stop kicking me in the head. While a handful of them have apologised profusely and stopped it immediately, most people react poorly; thus leading to my inherent mistrust in the entire human race.
Here are some reactions I’ve received to this fairly reasonable request:
“You’d understand if you were a parent.”
“You probably provoked her.”
“You were a kid once, too, you know.”
“My child is an angel, he would never!”
And, my personal favourite, which a mother genuinely said to me once on the New York City Subway:
“It’s your fault for being too short.”
Parents: Be better than this!
10. I Can’t see over immigration counters
This, I’m afraid, is not an exaggeration. All too often, I’ll get to the front of that horrid immigration queue, saunter up to the next available agent and find myself face to face with… the counter, which is towering over me.
Do you know how hard it is to answer questions when you can’t actually see over a ‘normal sized’ counter? Let alone how difficult it is for immigration to take your fingerprints or scan your eyes when you can’t see the things they’re meant to be scanning. Yeah, it’s true, children come through these things, as well. But it’s quite different when you’re on your own and everyone starts to get annoyed because you’re not adulting properly.
11. I miss out on some attractions
So yes, full disclosure, I don’t reach the height requirement for all rides. There are still a few I could never do. And that’s totally fine.
What sucks is that you’ll come to realise there are a lot of things just not designed for short people, or children. While travelling through Europe, we went to numerous prison sites with sealed-off rooms (dark tourists, remember?). These rooms often housed mini exhibits I couldn’t experience as I was too short to see into the door opening.
If I was thinner, I would probably be a great ballerina. My toes are ridiculously strong from constantly balancing on them.
On the plus side, I very rarely need to duck while walking through sites with low ceilings.
12. All my photos are at an angle
I mean, enough said: As a short girl, I endeavour not to have all my photos looking up people’s noses.
Further photography struggles include:
– Fitting everything required into the photo without walking backwards for miles.
– Being tall enough to get the desired item/person/etc. in a photo to begin with.
– Distorting the size of objects when I am in photos with them.
– Selfies (see below).
Similarly, I constantly have to look up. And it really hurts my neck! No wonder I have chronic migraines.
13. I struggle to take photos with Jeremy
So for context, Jeremy is a lot taller than me. When we stand next to each other, it’s fairly comical. It’s also a pain in the ass to get us both in photos due to the heigh difference. Selfies are totally out of the question! Not that I particularly like selfies, but the point remains.
I either stand on my tip-toes for photos of us, or Jeremy slouches. Or both.
Please don’t recommend a selfie stick; it doesn’t make me magically taller.
14. Short girl at the front!
I hate photos. Sure, if a photo happens to turn out okay, that’s fine. But for the most part, I abhor the whole process. I hate posing for photos, or getting dressed up. I don’t like touching other people at the best of times, but I have allodynia and sometimes being forced to cosy up with people is physically painful.
Yet every time some group photo is taking place, I am pushed to the front of the crowd.
Still, my real issue is with that happens to the photos afterwards.
My face, and my body are mine. If I want to take a million photos of myself and put them all over the internet, that’s my prerogative. Merely existing in a time when people’s entire lives are documented online, doesn’t actually give other people the right to post my photos wherever they please. And no, I don’t care if your accounts are private. To be honest, I also don’t want to end up in your offline photo album either. Although this is easier to stomach.
But people don’t care. People do it anyway. And sadly, there’s no real way to stop this. Trying to sit it out literally never works; requesting not to be in a photo makes you more desirable, somehow.
Maybe other people would feel the same as me if their height required them to always be front and centre.
Then again, given our current propensity for selfies and the pervading “me me me” culture of today; probably not.
15. People assume it’s okay to pat me on the head or lean on me
How often do you see someone on the street and think, “Hey, I bet that short girl wouldn’t mind if I just leaned on her head.”
I wish this was a joke. Generally, I let good friends get away with this shit, but strangers do it all the time. I’m not talking about new acquaintances who see a mutual friend do it and assume I’m totally chill. Although news flash: no one is that chill. No, I mean total strangers do it. People rest their arms on my head or shoulders at crosswalks. Strangers muss my hair, or pinch my cheeks. New colleagues pat me on the head when they first meet me.
None of this is okay.
16. I always need ID, sometimes more than one
As you probably ascertained from previous struggles (see number four), this short girl needs an ID on her at all times.
But even then, often times one ID just isn’t enough. Particularly in the USA.
I don’t know what it is, but I used to get laughed at, accused of fraud and just generally turned down after showing my ID in the states.
In Pennsylvania one time, I handed over my passport, and the woman behind the counter asked what it was.
“It’s a passport.” I replied.
“We don’t accept those.” She told me.
“Why not?”
“Because even a child can get one of them. They ain’t proof of nothing.”
“Right,” I persisted, “but they’re government issue IDs with date of births printed inside. By the government.”
“I’m no fool.” She responded.
Actually, madam, you are.
In Arizona, a guy once congratulated me on my excellent forgery skills for my real fucking passport. But he wouldn’t let me into the R rated (18+) film by myself. I was 24.
FYI: this wasn’t even close to the worst time I was denied entry/ID’d to get into a film. Top of the list is definitely being ID for a 12+ film, at 18, while with an actual 12 year old – who was not ID’d.
17. Just generally difficult to find clothes & shoes, let alone ones specific to travel
Before you ask, yes I can wear kid’s shoes. Kind of. My feet have always been very wide, so most kid’s shoes don’t actually work for me. But in theory I can, if I’m willing to take the time to wear them in properly.
But shoe struggles are small beans compared to clothes woes.
Nothing fits me. Also, I hate shopping. If I find something that fits, I’ll just go ahead and buy ten of it and pray it never falls apart. It always does sooner or later, though.
With travel we’re told to find clothes that work in every climate and have all the pockets. But I may as well just call it quits. It’s hard enough to find clothes, full stop.
So I travel in my everyday clothes. Which, honestly, you should do anyway. You’ll be much comfier. Unless you’re going somewhere mega hot and you’re NOT used to the heat. Then you should probably make some adjustments.
Oh, and I always wear skinny jeans or 3/4 lengths (i.e. basically full length) to avoid hemming clothes.
18. Apparently I’m short
Why do people feel the need to point this out to me? Seriously, I’m asking. I get it in some instances. Children, for example. I recognise that they aren’t yet aware of what information to filter. And considering how many adults tell me this, clearly most of them will never learn.
In some cultures, as well, people just describe you by your appearance. Which sucks, but there you go. I am the short fat girl. It’s cool.
But in reality, this gets pointed out to me more in places like the UK and the USA. Not only do strangers seem to think it’s okay to come up to me and remind me I’m short, but some are rude as fuck about it.
Here are some ways people thought it was okay to tell me I was short, since I wasn’t aware already:
A stranger once yanked my headphones out and said, “OMG, you’re so small!”
Numerous strangers have patted me on the head and said, “Whoa, didn’t see you there cause you’re so short!” (see number 15)
Some rando at a bus stop once smacked me on the back “playfully” and said, “Man alive, are you aware how short you are?” Actual words spoken.
You know how someone in a wheelchair knows they’re in a wheelchair? Or someone with glasses, is aware they’re on their face? I know I’m short! It’s occurred to me before. Probably one of the gazillion times I couldn’t reach everyday items.
19. My backpacks have to be smaller
I am small, so my backpack is small. Jeremy has a monster of a bag at 75L, while I struggle to carry 40L.
A smaller bag means less space, so I have to be pickier. This is good and bad, though. Carrying less all over the world is a good thing, definitely. But sometimes I wish I could shove in just a bit more. I also tend to feel pathetic carrying so much less than Jeremy (he gets stuck with a lot of extras).
It’s true, my stuff takes up less space, my being smaller. But I’m also not thin, so it doesn’t take up as little space as other short girl’s clothing might. Still, I can happily wear the same outfit for a week, so all in all, I should probably stop moaning about this one.
20. People literally don’t see you
Imagine, you’re walking along, talking to a friend. Suddenly, they stop, look to their left, to their right. Panicked they say, “Dagney, where are you?” As they look literally over your head.
Comedy gold, yes?
Sure, but it’s also my life. People “lose” me all the time. And I don’t mean in a crowd, I’m talking on an empty street with just the two of us. Price of hanging out with tall people, apparently.
In the same ballpark, whenever I walk by myself, if I come across a group walking in the opposite direction to me, they will not move. If I stand my ground, I get pushed out of the way (into the street, against a wall, into a pond – I’ve seen it all). Jeremy cannot for the life of him understand this – you know, being a tall, white male.
21. I can’t see into most mirrors
How do I look today? Hell if I know.
Next time you’re in a bathroom, have a look at the mirror… where is it located? Chances are it’s fairly high up. And while you may be able to see into it, I cannot.
It’s a minor struggle. One that probably doesn’t occur to you if you’re not a short girl, guy or otherwise.
I’m lucky if I can see the top of my head most days.
The below is from the bathroom of Biegelstai in Vilnius. I thought it was really sweet that the mirror was complementing me, despite not being able to see me. I also thought it was funny enough to get a photo. Also, I knew this article was coming eventually.
22. I can’t always secure or open a door if it has a top door lock
Imagine it: You’ve arrived at your Airbnb after hours of travel. You’re exhausted, you just want to crash. Except you can’t actually get into your room – or secure it from the inside – because there’s a top lock on it. This has happened to me. Or, if not the bedroom, a dresser; or a very high up chain lock.
My struggles are real, people!
This really isn’t that common, I just want to highlight that it happens and it doesn’t even occur to people this is an issue.
23. I struggle to drive new cars
While this technically isn’t a problem since I hate driving, it’s worth mentioning. I can’t actually drive anymore since my license expired and it was from Qatar. As I no longer live there, I can’t really replace it.
But let’s assume I love driving and bother to renew my license. As a short girl, new and random rental cars are not my forte. Even if it’s the same make and model I’m accustomed to, there are always slight variations.
No matter how much I adjust a car, it’s never right. Either I can’t see over the dashboard, or I can’t reach the pedals.
If Jeremy and I want to go on a road trip, I won’t be tagging in.
24. Limited options for grabbing things on public transport
Assuming you’ve ever been on public transport, you know those standing, typically need something to grab onto. You know, so they don’t go flying across the bus or whatever. What might not have occurred to you is how few things there are for short people to grab onto. There are poles, yes. But if the pole is too far for me to reach, I can’t reach above my head for a handle. Nor can I just reach over someone’s head to grab the pole since my arms to too fucking short.
Typically it’s fine. But there’s always someone who doesn’t seem to care that I’m struggling to find space as they bogart the lower space despite being quite a bit taller than me.
25. Top bunks are the worst
I very rarely stay in hostels dorms.
But when I do, there are two struggles I have to overcome. And, truly, these are equally problematic for me.
The first is that I am an introvert and I don’t actually like socialising, at all. Any interaction with strangers, no matter how small, is a minefield for me. That having been said, I’ve met some cool people in hostels.
The second problem is the dreaded top bunk. I’ve heard some people prefer them. I actually slept on a top bunk as a child, and I have no issue with them in theory. It’s in practice that it sometimes falls apart.
Sadly, it’s not uncommon for hostels to be ‘creative’ with their bunks. This sometimes means ridiculously spread out ladder rungs, or even none at all. Do you think you could get into a top bunk without a ladder if you were nearly a head shorter than you are? I didn’t think so!
26. No one likes to be cramped
Look, I’m not saying I need a lot of space. I totally feel for tall people, and how cramped they get in cars, on planes, etc. Nevertheless, being a short girl doesn’t mean I don’t need any leg room!
Being short doesn’t immunise me against cramping. Hell, I already have plenty of muscle and joint issues as is, thank you very much. I get it, travel requires sacrifice. I’m not happy about it, but I’ll do it. That still doesn’t mean I can just fit into ridiculously small spaces with my knees shoved into my chin and be comfortable.
For starters, I’m just not thin enough for that shit. But even when I was significantly thinner, it was still bullshit.
27. I’m easily swallowed up by crowds
Oh no! Where did Dagney go?
No one knows.
.
.
.
Also, it’s terrifying to be completely enveloped by a crowd. Technically speaking, I have agoraphobia since I have a fear of entering crowded places. But I always describe it as being claustrophobic in large crowds. While I do have minor anxiety, that’s not how being in a crowd feels, for me. It isn’t a social anxiety thing that makes it awful. It’s that I literally have to worry about being knocked over and stepped on (this has happened numerous times). And therefore, I also have to worry about being trampled to death.
These kinds of things happen!
Plus, I get lost easily. And as I do have social anxiety, the absolute last thing I want to do in a crowded place is potentially ask strangers for help.
Sure, that festival sounds awesome, but I think I’ll just stay over here and watch from the sidelines, thanks!
While I’m here, I also want to moan about behemoth people standing and sitting in front of me all the time. Well, there goes watching that film, play, concert, etc. I’ve literally had to refund tickets because I can’t see. Or forfeit tickets because we can’t refund them, but I also can’t see and nothing else is available.
Side note: If you’re tall and you’re going to a film, play, concert, etc, and you’re potentially sitting in front of someone (i.e. you’re not in the last row), DO NOT PUT YOUR GODDAMN HAIR UP.
28. I have to run everywhere
Just to clarify, I walk pretty damn fast. And not just for a short girl. But there is literally only so fast my tiny little legs can go. Meanwhile, Jermey’s ridiculously long legs move at an absurd speed. It doesn’t help that he walks faster than most people, regardless of height.
But as a short girl who spent most of her life around tall dudes, one of my biggest struggles is keeping up. I can tell them to slow down, and I do. But it only lasts so long before people – Jeremy – forget and speed up again.
So instead, I wind up essentially running everywhere.
How am I not thinner?
29. Gaining weight is the worst
To be honest, I’m one of the few people who actually loses weight on holiday. And every time I move to the UK, I pile on the pounds. Dunno why, the food sucks. Jeremy’s theory is that the air is made up of 10% chips.
Still, being short, a few extra pounds are a lot more obvious on me than someone with several inches on me. And there’s just so much delicious food in the world!
30. SEATS ARE NOT DESIGNED FOR SHORT PEOPLE
I can only touch the floor with my tip-toes!
Do you remember as a child how when you sat in, well, any chair not designed for children, your feet dangled over the seat?
No? Those memories long gone? How nice for you.
For me, these are not distant memories. My legs still dangle over every chair I sit on. And it sucks. It’s not just annoying, it hurts! Did you know it’s actually bad for you to let your legs dangle for too long? Yup. There’s a reason that proper office sitting posture dictates you rest your feet firmly on the ground (or a stool or something).
Resting your feet helps increase blood circulation. On a plane, not being able to rest your feet can lead to poor circulation and massive swelling. It should come as no surprise to anyone if I die of deep vein thrombosis.
Are you a short girl (ahem, woman!)? Do you share any of these struggles? Are there any short girl struggles missing from the list? Let me know in the comments!
